Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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