I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize