You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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