WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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