btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize