dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize