Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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