Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
