She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
meet me or not, i'm out of control
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
