You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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