God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
