A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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