i was born a porn star she said
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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