I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
