When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
