Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
my phone needs a breathalizer
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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