apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
