i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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