Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
