I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I currently don't understand fingers.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
