i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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