I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
