Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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