haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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