I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
