im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
