Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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