I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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