Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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