guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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