How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
