Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
