Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
