some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
