I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
