Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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