I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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