why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
