sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
