careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
