You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Randomize
