He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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