I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
