Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
