): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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