Have you finally orgasmed yet?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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