Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
