Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
