why didn't you poke me back
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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