I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
