It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
