Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She bit a glass in half.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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