WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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