So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
