you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize