Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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