I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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