I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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