Jerry, you need to find god
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
